Time Out Feature: Sword-fighting in London

Inspired by Game of Thrones, ​I tried out sword-fighting for Time Out's weekly 'Whatever Next?' column. Read about my exploits over on the Time Out blog or below.

This article originally appeared in Time Out London, Issue May 14-20 2013.

​©David Tett

Heavy metal: Kate Hutchinson tries her hand at longsword fighting

As decreed by Time Out readers, Kate Hutchinson must face an ordeal by cold steel.

As a proud modern-day feminist, I like to think I’ve got most man-skills nailed. Unblocking a toilet? No sweat. Sinking six pints? Piece of cake! Sword fighting? Ah, that’s something that very few of us, no matter what bits we’ve got, can do. Fencing aside, it pretty much died out a century ago but there are places in London dedicated to keeping the spirit of the flashing blade alive.

I encounter the London Longsword Academy on a Monday night at City YMCA. Their motto promises that ‘one day the bullets will run out’, and when they do, the beefy men attending this class of four will be the equivalent of cruise missiles. Two of them could crush me with a glance and while the other one looks gentle, I’m guessing he has the nimbleness of Legolas from ‘The Lord of the Rings’. Thankfully, the medieval longswords that we are using are blunt, but they’re still Thor-hammer-heavy. ‘I am Brienne of Tarth!’ I think, as I almost drop the thing on my foot.

We launch straight into sparring, without a warm-up, so I soon get used to the feel of holding a sword two-handed. But what I can’t adjust to is the class’s pace. I’ve barely figured out how to advance before I’m swinging the three-foot blade above my head like a granny wielding a walking stick.

‘This is the plow, the food, the ox and day,’ says instructor Dave Rawlins, pointing his sword in different positions as I try to keep up. ‘Now we’re going to do a wrath strike from the right, turning into a feint, with an attack to the ear.’ I’ve no clue what’s going on. Now I must face the bitter realisation that my knowledge of pointy things you can stick into people extends only as far as the workings of the fork.

The next feat we try is even less straightforward, though Rawlins makes it look like ballet with blades. ‘Sorry if this hurts,’ I apologise, as I’m told to strike Legolas, then put my hand on the flat of the sword and push it into his neck, forcing himto the ground. Fortunately for him, I stagger around clumsily like a knight who’s quaffed too much mead. It’s a shame, really. Done properly, that move would kick some serious butt.

Soon our 90 minutes are up. I’m reassured that I did well, but I feel more like the Black Knight from ‘Monty Python and the Holy Grail’ than Uma Thurman in ‘Kill Bill’. For those with more combat savvy, you’d be hard pressed to find a better place for sword practice. The next time I want to get my medieval kicks, though, maybe I’ll try live-action role-play.

Where: Location varies.

When: Six nights a week (not Sat).

How much: £14 per session.

For info, see londonlongsword.com

From the archive: Clubbing and the jpeg generation

I'm shifting all of my favouritist old Time Out columns onto here before they end up in the Internet cemetery. First up: this feature from 2007 on the new wave of clubbing photographers snapping the fashion kidz in east London. It originally appeared in Time Out London in March 2007. Read it after the jump.

Clubbing and the jpeg generation

Photo websites like Dirty Dirty Dancing and We Know What You Did Last Night not only showcase fabulous party people, they add excitement to an already frenetic party scene

Take a trip down to EC1 at the weekend and you’ll see something different. Not only are the clubs awash with party-goers in all their fluoro, metallic and skintight threads, but these clubbers are posing and pouting for some lanky guy with a nifty-looking camera on the dancefloor. Come the morning, proof of their party appearances is eagerly downloaded and lands on their online profiles for all to admire. URLs are eagerly swapped as the night before is crystallised in all its garish glory, devoured hungrily by the jpeg generation.

Digital photography is literally changing the face of clubbing, feeding on the swarms of London ravers who love nothing more than to don outlandish outfits and be seen. Generic crowd shots fill giant clubland websites like Tillate.com and Dontstayin.com, but a new school of photographers are more focused (excuse the pun) on snapping the beautiful with style. They’re not stalking the overexposed main floors of Fabric or theMinistry though. They are inspired by the thriving electro, indie and grime scene – represented by nights like Boom Boxx, Durrr, Computer Blue and Anti Social.

Alistair Allan is one photographer ‘capturing the moment’. His website, Dirty Dirty Dancing, casts a dewy glow on all who grace it and he barely misses out on a high-fashion hoedown. Only venturing into club photography a mere six months ago, his site now receives 900,000 page views a month. Similarly, Chris Birkenshaw, who runs online gallery We Know What You Did Last Night, only started snapping recently ‘by accident’ and has already done the rounds with nights like Club Motherfucker, Chalk and Our Disco. There are few photographers covering the ‘cool’ clubs to this degree.

Instead of pouring over MySpace, clubbers consult websites like these for insights into what parties are hot right now. ‘My friends have overheard quite a few people say, “Oh, Dirty Dirty Dancing is here!” or “I got dressed up for DDD” in clubs, but I don’t really listen,’ says Allan. ‘I try to steer clear of people who might ask me to take their photo – I usually just pick out the people I think look interesting.’

But if photographers are seeking out people purely on their looks then is this an accurate representation of London club culture? ‘Probably not, no,’ admits Birkenshaw. ‘You don’t want to see pictures of everyone; you just want people that look good or who are doing something weird. Private people turn their heads away when they see a camera, so I suppose [we’re] looking at clubbing through rose-tinted glasses.’

Allan argues that what he shoots is a true representation of the big-city nightlife, but only at the clubs he parties at. ‘It is kind-of only showing one aspect,’ he says, ‘but I’m not really interested [in all clubs]. ‘People look that good before post-production, but I mostly take photos of people I know. The flash is just really harsh with most cameras so I soften it all down,’ he continues, without revealing just how he gets that perfect-skin glow. ‘We never see the flaws in each other until we look at the photographs and start to notice things, so I’m portraying what people actually see.’

Allan and Birkenshaw both confess they sleep little more than forty winks a night, but then again, they do it for the fun, not for the cash. There’s no questioning, however, that there is still an enormous appetite for digital clubbing mementos, one that arguably heightens the clubbing experience as clubbers are inspired to create ever-more freaky dance moves and outlandish looks. ‘Some say I’m documenting the new rave scene and that people are going to look back on it and see the history of how it came about,’ says Allan. ‘Maybe in that historical sense [these photos] have importance, but it’s just fun for me; I’m not exploiting people’s vanity.’

Kate Hutchinson

Feature: The return of UK garage

This article originally appeared in Time Out London in February 2012.

The sound of early ’90s UKG is back on London's dancefloors…

The distinctive battle cry of UK garage is unforgettable. But, says Kate Hutchinson, it's more than just a distant dancefloor memory. Whether it's futuristic sounds or old school anthems that you'll hear in London's clubs, garage is back for good.

Dust down those Moschino shirts and polish up your loafers: UK garage – or UKG, as it is commonly known – is back in a big way. The sound that, along with jungle, defined London’s underground nightlife scene in the mid-’90s has returned to inject some smooth, high-energy and shuffly 2-step nostalgia into the capital’s clubs.

We don’t mean Dane Bowers banging out a DJ set at a cocktail bar in Uxbridge. London’s garage renaissance isn’t averse to throwing the odd cheesy pop number (think Craig David, Oxide & Neutrino and Sweet Female Attitude) into the mix but, for the most part, its new incarnation runs much deeper. The original pioneers, who shaped the sound before it was co-opted by the mainstream and came to soundtrack the likes of Daniel Bedingfield’s pigeon croons, are playing classic sets all over London. And, crucially, there is a new wave of producers who are propelling it into the present.

These two forces form the foundation of forward (and backward!)-thinking new night Heritage, the second of which is at Hidden in Vauxhall on Friday February 24, thanks to party promoters Found, Multiply and Days Like That. Unlike other garage-centric parties, which usually focus on old-school anthems and UKG’s younger relative, funky house, Heritage aims to be a ‘deeper exploration’ of the sound and its history. It will cover 2-step, a less aggressive derivative of the fast ‘speed garage’ sounds of the late ’90s, four-to-the-floor smashers and, crucially, today’s UK bass-led interpretations.

Enter UK producers and DJs like Mosca, Hackman, Jamie XX, Deadboy and Oneman. They are purveyors of, as garage heavyweight DJ EZ puts it, the ‘new east London sound’ and have been producing or spinning garage-inflected tracks and sets over the past year. It’s because of them that the sound is surging forward. Mosca’s sublime garage track ‘Bax’ has even had airtime on Fearne Cotton’s primetime Radio 1 show, a tip-off from fellow BBC-er Toddla T.

Why has it become so popular again? James Benenson, who forms the Found team with Will Patterson, and who runs youth brand and club Urban Nerds, has some ideas: ‘The 2-step garage sound is a purist antidote to much of the wobble-orientated dubstep music that’s out there now,’ he explains. ‘A new breed of producers, from labels like Hessle, Swamp81 and Numbers, have looked back to these dubstep origins for inspiration. Consequently, they’ve shown that there’s always a place for feel-good garage hype: tracks like Mosca’s ‘Bax’ are living proof of the power of UKG.’

But whatever you do, don’t call it ‘future garage’. The controversial phrase confuses producers like Mosca and co (who experiment with numerous other club sounds) with the new future garage movement, a nascent scene spearheaded by DJ Whistla. He runs the Future Garage forum, an unofficial spin-off from the nexus of all dubstep music discussion, Dubstep Forum, and its related Facebook and Soundcloud pages, amassing nearly 10,000 members.

But Mosca, and influential scene writers like Martin Clark, are quick to draw a line between their garage productions and future garage. ‘As an initial idea it’s well intentioned and not without merits: to make garage-y beats you can actually dance to (not mosh to, like dubstep circa 2012),’ explains Clark. But according to Mosca, the music that comes from it is ‘just fucking terrible. It’s all Burial rip-offs and emo-garage stuff.'

You won’t hear any such gripes at Heritage, however. Mosca will be representing the exciting new school alongside some legendary garage names like DJ EZ and Matt 'Jam' Lamont (who was one-half of Tuff Jam Records, the most influential UKG label in the ’90s, along with Karl 'Tuff Enuff' Brown), Scott Garcia and Double 99.

The garage renaissance has paved the way for other innovators to come back too: look out for stalwarts like Wookie, MJ Cole, Sunship, Noodles, Artful aka Mark Hill (formerly one half of Artful Dodger) and, on the cheesier side, Oxide & Neutrino and DJ Luck & MC Neat, who have all made a return to clubland in the past year. As Clark says, if anyone can paint an accurate picture of UKG in the ’90s, it’s DJ EZ and his peers.

Still, if you do see Dane Bowers billed anywhere, you know to go running…

Feature: En vogue again

This article originally appeared in Time Out London in January 2012

A new Soul Jazz compilation and book uncovers the music and moves of New York's '80s house ballroom era, the underground nightlife scene immortalised by Madonna in her infamous single 'Vogue' this month. And, though it lives on in the Big Apple, you can find traces of this fascinating polysexual culture in London clubland too…

We've all seen it. We've tried to do the lightning speed hands, to twist our locks into the perfect Marilyn curls and to memorise the rap of glamorous celebrities 'on the cover of a magazine'. The music video for Madonna's chart-topping single 'Vogue' will forever immortalise that exaggerated style of dance in pop history, but the Harlem voguing scene from which it takes it name has since burrowed back underground.

Soul Jazz's compilation and its accompanying book, 'Voguing: Voguing and the House Ballroom Scene of New York City 89-92', however, is shining a light back on this forgotten subculture. The book comprises a series of eye-popping party snapshots and portraits by photographer Chantal Regnault, taken during the scene's 'ballroom house' heyday. Amazingly, the photos were sitting in a box untouched in her home in Haiti for 20 years, until Soul Jazz founder Stuart Baker came knocking during a trip to the country.

'The ballroom scene has a hidden history,' says Baker. '[When 'Vogue' came out] a large amount of attention was focused on it, but after the hype had died down, no one was interested in it anymore. There's Jennie Livingston's film, ['Paris Is Burning', an award-winning 1990s doc on ballroom culture] but, apart from that, it hasn't been chronicled anywhere.'

It's a wild and fascinating story.Voguing and house ballroom first emerged in the early 1970s, inspired by the queer masquerade balls that emerged in New York as far back as the late nineteeth century , and the 'throwing shade', when one queen subtly insulted another, that developed from them in the twentieth-century balls. In this new incarnation, these balls saw 'ball children' - gay and transgender black men - battle each other for the glory of their 'house, referencing a model representing a fashion house on the catwalk. These dance-offs became known as 'voguing'. They mocked social stereotypes in categories like 'realness', in which competitors would win points from the judging panel for how convincingly they played it straight or 'dragged it up'.

The balls were a crucial support network for the black gay community. 'Their houses were surrogate families for them because many of them lived on the streets and had been kicked out by their families,' explains Regnault. 'So the balls were a space where they could be totally free to express their fantasies and be appreciated for it.'

The voguing story is inevitably tinged with sadness. Out of all the people that she photographed, says Regnault, two-thirds of them had passed away when she revisited New York to interview its founders for the book in 2010. In the late '80s, as voguing was booming, so too was the Aids crisis, which destroyed many of its stars.

The Soul Jazz compilation is as visceral as the book. It stretches further back, to 1976, and rounds up the major house ballroom tracks up to 1996. You can picture the likes of Jose and Luis from the House of Xtravaganza, who appeared in Madonna's 'Vogue' video, framing their faces in time to 'Love Hangover' by Diana Ross, an early vogue icon. Or popping and spinning to Cheryl Lynn's 'Got to Be Real', which was co-opted by the scene as an anthem for 'realness'. Some of the raw, low quality beats and brash vocals, however, wouldn't sound out of place at Dalston Superstore today.

Made-for-the-ballroom house stompers by the scene's superstar DJ Junior Vasquez ('X') and Kevin Aviance (the awesomely titled 'Cunty') also feature; 'bitch tracks' like these are being increasingly sampled by today's creative house producers. Just listen to London producers Joy Orbison and Boddika's January single 'Swims', which is built around a rapid-fire bitch vocal from Tronco Traxx's '98 catwalk anthem 'Walk for Me'. Such renewed interest in house ballroom music has, in turn, inspired Vasquez, still a DJ on the gay scene in New York, to start producing in the bitchy style again.

Then there's New York native MikeQ, the DJ at new youthful ballroom club Vogue Knights, a party that Diplo brought to worldwide attention in aVanity Fair article last October. The voguing scene has always continued to exist under the radar, but MikeQ breathes new life into the soundtrack. He mixes up vintage house ballroom and samples from signature tunes like Masters at Work's 'The Ha Dance', the original of which features on the Soul Jazz compilation, with new chart R&B remixes and a stripped-back, drum-driven beat. When he played in London a fortnight ago, it wasn't at gay nights or nostalgic ballroom one-offs, but at some of the capital's most cutting-edge parties: Night Slugs and House of Trax.

Here in London, meanwhile, we can't lay claim to a house ballroom history like New York, but its high-drama and sense of community can certainly be felt. It lives in our alt.drag cabaret scene, spearheaded by Jonny Woo, whose performance incorporates voguing in homage to the era, and who started his own house, House of Egypt. And its music is alive in many an east London club night.

'Ballroom culture set the blueprint for a lot of big house records back in the early '90s, which fit perfectly for a lot of nights harking back to a more classic style today,' says Dalston Superstore's Dan Beaumont. 'They combine a lot of those classic records with new productions that reflect the sound.' So, while you won't necessarily find voguers stalking across the dancefloor - unless it's at the larger versions of Jim Warboy's SOS party, where you'll find a voguing runway down the middle - here's where to catch the voguing vibe in London.

Strike a pose, we urge you.

SOS Jim Warboy's night of wild, sweaty polysexual abandon celebrated its first birthday at East Bloc last week but its larger parties boast a catwalk and often guest dance teachers. The next SOS is at East Bloc on Feb 18. www.eastbloc.co.uk

House of Trax A new-for-2012 night with a focus on booty-shaking, inspired by retro TV dance shows like 'Soul Train' and 'Dance Energy'. The next House of Trax is on March 17, location tbc. www.houseoftrax.tv

Paris Acid Ball Every night at Dalston's premiere gay hangout, The Superstore, is prime for a spot of voguing action, but none more so than Paris Acid Ball, whose soundtrack includes jackin' acid workouts and runway classics. The next Paris Acid Ball is at Dalston Superstore, date tbc.www.dalstonsuperstore.com

Tribe One of two clubs where you can participate in 'House Dance' competitions, which, like voguing, originated with house music in the early '80s. The next Tribe is at the Brixton Club House on March 17.www.triberecordsuk.com

‘Voguing: Voguing and the House Ballroom Scene of New York City 89-92' by Chantal Regnault is out now and the compilation is out on Mon Feb 3 (both Soul Jazz). Joy Orbison plays at Mulletover on Sat Jan 28.